Depersonalization: The loss of a familiar world

There is a part of life that we hold dearly, yet unknowingly. A part that is very rarely acknowledged or questioned. Yet, if we are to lose it, our world is thrown into turmoil. That fundamental part of life is our sense of the familiar. Our house, our family, our partners and pets, our own sense of self, our thoughts and perceptions are all familiar to us. 

For the vast majority of people, this is a given and is rarely, if ever, questioned. However, for those who have experienced the disturbing phenomenon of Depersonalization, this sense of the familiar is not just questioned, it is temporarily lost. To lose one's sense of a familiar world is to lose one’s safety within it. This is much more than an intellectual, cognitive process, but a felt, existential experience. It’s not just questioning the nature of reality, but actually feeling as though one is truly disconnected from the outside world.

Often, people can feel physically detached from themselves, as if their essence is no longer grounded fully within the body. Some people have reported feeling that their own voice no longer feels familiar to them or that their reflection in the mirror is somehow off. Understandably, those afflicted are often swept up in a tidal wave of panic, rumination, and reality checking, which can negatively impact all areas of a person’s life.

Brief episodes of depersonalization are fairly common and can occur once or twice in a person’s lifetime, often during periods of acute stress or anxiety. However, the real trouble starts with what might be called Chronic Depersonalization Disorder (DPD). This is the ongoing experience of depersonalization, which can last for months, years, or even decades. When this happens, individuals can find themselves caught in a distressing cycle: depersonalization increases anxiety, anxiety intensifies depersonalization, and the loop continues.

What is important to note is that someone experiencing DPD has no impairment of reality. There are no delusions, hallucinations, or psychosis. Cognition is still intact, and everything remains completely recognisable; a person has not lost touch with what they know, it is just that what they know no longer feels familiar. From the outside, a person with DPD will likely seem functional, perhaps a little lost in their own thoughts. They might become very aware of existential ideas, “Who am I?” “What is real?” “Why do I exist?” “Am I really here?” These questions often fuel the anxiety and cause a greater sense of disconnect from the world around them.

So what can be done? I believe the answer lies within human connection, relationships, and self-understanding. I will explore this, along with the vital role of therapy, in my next blog post.